Twilight

Sunday, 30 November 2008 23:44

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Comments

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TheDramaticMonarch

|2008-11-30 11:53:23

"I'm tortured but I'm just pretentious."

I absolutely must drop this
line into a conversation.

Although I have no desire to see or read the
"Twilight" series, I'd desire having a Bum Review of every potential
movie sequel to the franchise. It would probably be a helluva lot more
entertaining.

EternalNightmare - Great Episode

|2008-11-30 11:53:40

It's been so long since the Bum last reviewed a (real) movie, but this was worth
the wait. This may be one of the best reviews yet.

TheBat - The Review... once again better than the film.

|2009-03-02 17:03:13

Sorry, no offense to you, Twilight isn't a real movie, at least I didn't think
so. I liked it better when it was called The Lost Boys. But yes, this review was
definitely worth waiting for.

Vegetarian vampire? Like Count Duckula,
right?

I'll admit all the "subtleties" in this movie weren't all that
subtle... I'm glad The Bum pointed this out.

Seediq_Bale

|2008-11-30 11:54:15

You should see what I sucked on him! Heyo!
Bum Reviews are so damn reliable.
Seriously. So spot on.
-Seediq Bale-

avidfan141

|2008-11-30 12:03:59

just lol(lol cant show much laughter) hahhahahahahahha
p.s is it really that bad

kindpoet - Man

|2008-11-30 12:07:53

Well at least I know what not to watch. Thanks

SimoniZ - Sequels for sure

|2008-11-30 12:09:48

Well that critic was usefull.

Im not going to see that movie... it's for
girls!!

anyways there is going to be sequels

tehodis

|2009-05-15 21:23:46

No. It's for people with less than one brain cells. Don't drop me into the same
category as them. :/

blacktrojan3921

|2008-11-30 12:49:57

As much as I admire cinema's for making movies based on books, I have to ask why
in the fuck to make a movie on Twilight? ^^; Seriously, for the first half of
the book it mostly talks bout how sexy the vampire is! XD

And on a totally
unrelated note, yay for hobos with 5 o'clock shadows

lunchboxx

|2008-11-30 12:53:53

thank god i'm not gonna see this movie.

my sister is goth, and she is head over
ass over heels for this movie.

BUM FOR PRESIDENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chrisboe4ever - YES!

|2008-11-30 13:32:14

This video is so true!

NeonLights

|2008-11-30 13:47:46

Probably the first review I seriously couldn't hold the laughter in. Now I want
a shirt with an evil looking Bum going "I am a vampire. Bite
me."

Twilight but no Quantum?

Khat57 - Ahhhh, finally...

|2008-11-30 13:51:45

Thank you, I just needed a final assurance that this whole franchise is a buncha
aaaaaaaaaaaass.

DanManX

|2008-11-30 14:00:22

I knew this movie was gonna be bad when I saw the previews, because you can
already tell the vampires can walk around in daylight. Which, of course, is
total BS. "Ooh, it's a new take on vampires." No, it's not. Firstly,
Blade could do that since the first movie, and even THEN it was explained that
he was a hybrid. These things aren't vampires. They're just Highlanders
without British accents. That's it, really. Immortal, super strong/fast...no
swords, either, I suppose, but otherwise that's it.

For my money, the only
vampire book series adapted to a visual medium I wanna watch is True Blood.
Cause that rules.

christenm123

|2008-11-30 14:04:00

It's been so long since a Bum Review! I love it!

Jenx	\|2008-11-30 14:25:06

Man this sounds like the kind of movie I'd hate. I already am pissed off at
these kind of vampire books/movies that turned vampires from awesome monsters
into pretentious goth homosexuals.

Kiyo	\|2008-11-30 14:27:00

OMG, this is the greatest review I've ever seen in my life! ! !
But seriously,
I've waited and waited and waited and you done it again! ! ! I pissed myself
from laughter! You're my idol

(well... and NC and TGWTG) Wanna have little
bums? :>

Zenergy

|2008-11-30 14:27:12

I hate angsty teenage vampires!!

ThatCanadianGuy

|2008-11-30 14:31:39

The books sucked monkey tits and it's obvious the movie wasn't going to be any
better.

I've been so looking forward to having the Bum review this piece of dog
shit and I couldn't stop laughing the entire time. The Bum gave quite an
accurate and excellent review.

monsternerd - HOORAY

|2008-11-30 14:40:26

yeah i hated the book and i hate the fact that everywhere you go theres
something twilight....worse than a zombie invasion.

how could you watch the
movie over the sound of squealing overweight unattractive schoolgirls?

so
obviously i hated twilight so much already, and therefore didnt dare watch
it

but thank you Mr. Bum for reviewing this movie...it needed a good kick in
the teeth

...

for this I love you

but im not giving you change

look for
obama tho...i heard he has plenty

BabyImplosion

|2008-11-30 15:09:15

thanks, needed a good laugh.

some great acting between the vampire and girl.
how your face is and eyes, greatness

orwellianson - :)

|2008-11-30 15:29:10

Delightful as always

Raymond T ThatDutchGuyWithTheTransformers

|2008-11-30 15:36:56

I wasn't planning on seeing Twilight when it comes out here. But after Chester's
review, I might have to just to make more fun of that movie!

CultconXIX - Damn.

|2008-11-30 15:40:23

Sounds like that movie really sucks balls....through the wall.

Vyers - Awesome but beware

|2008-11-30 16:20:49

If you were going to bust the bum out of retirement for anything, I'm glad it
was Twilight, that shit NEEDS some bumming.

I'd be wary though of an impending
fangirl shitstorm if they get wind of this. I have never seen fans as rabid as
those who like twilight...

Shinizaru

|2008-11-30 16:55:47

oh how I wish I could embed this on my myspace. I would get so flamed simply
because of all the fangirls saying "OMG TWILIGHT WAS GOOD HOW DARE YOU SAY
IT MADE ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE FOR REAL VAMPIRES DDDDDD

TheJoker666 - wow...

|2008-11-30 18:19:57

this movie has been haunting me for weeks, my friend saw it with his
girlfriend... and my friend... doesn't read twilight, but he reads books like
it... basically books about teenage halloween people such as vampires and
wizards... except harry potter (he thinks it's over rated) but i'm not kidding,
you saw that episode of south park were the kids role played to be vampires?
well... that really does happen in my school...
NICE REVIEW!!! now thanks to you
i will NEVER EVER SEE THIS MOVIE AGAIN.... and i'm not being sarcastic... im
glad you told us

Oatmeal

|2008-11-30 18:24:53

"Oh my God, this is the greatest movie I've ever seen in my
life!"

Why... am I never getting tired of hearing that.

ThatTeenWithTheIssues - How Could You!

|2008-11-30 18:25:29

Me and My sister are big fans of the Twilight Series and when we went to go see
the movie, it wasn't all that bad. Plus the Soundtrack was kick ass. I can't
believe you would say the movie is bad without even reading the damn book first!
Oh, but wait, I forgot, you can't read chester, since you being a bum and all.
But the review was funny anyways.

Koolfox - Awesome review ya bum

|2008-11-30 18:30:18

I was surprised that you decided to make a review on Twilight... well, either is
the movie's sudden success.
Seriously, why is this movie considered to be
"good"? it makes no sense.

nevermind, awesome review.

yakaboskib

|2008-11-30 18:33:20

Awsome review

And to anwser your question Koolfix its a bad movie based on a
bad book that has a cult following of teenage girls who want to get it on with
the main character.

So yeah its only good because its makes Hollywood money.

baba44713 - Yay, bum's back!

|2008-11-30 18:54:43

I know Doug said he only does the Bum because he likes to do the voice and it's
faster to produce, but I really like this character.. he is so different from
Doug's usual persona it's incredible and that voice is really really
funny.

Doug, more bums, please.

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