Piece of Shit

TOURNAMENT: The Worst Movies of ALL-TIME (Round 1, Match Set 8-16)

Posted by: Reese Kaine in Worthless, tournament, sucking, Piece of Shit, movies, Horse Manure, Crap, Bucket o Feces on Nov 16, 2008

For those already familiar with the tournament, just go down a page.

Folks, we have our love of movies, that's how we know what's bad, what sucks, and what's worse than being told that there's cake, but you have to be roasted in an oven first (Seriously, there is no cake. The computer bitch is hogging it). During the last two weeks of September 2008, the fine folks who idolize The One Free Man, the opener of the way (I'll try to come up with a better one, honest) here at TGWTG.com sent their submissions for what they each thought was the most terrible craptastic shit-flicks of all time. And as we've learned, one man's treasure is another man's trash, as popular movies were submitted as well. "Can't argue with the people" I thought, as I threw them in the fishbowl (I couldn't find a hat on short notice).

Basically, what we're doing is throwing pairs of shit-flicks together, and the people vote on which movie is worse than the other. Kinda like betting on cockfights, only with more blood. Call it karma if you like.

Each week up until the end of April, I'll be putting up four matchups between eight of the movies submitted, and the people get to pick the winner, to eventually be mounted onto a throne sculpted out of various specimens of fecal matter.

It'll be so bad, even flies dare not go near it.
===========================================================

Once again, anyone that submitted their movies that doesn't mind their names being mentioned, please send me another email, telling me just that.

Starting NEXT WEEK, there will be EIGHT shit-flick matchups every week instead of four.

After a week of voting, we have four clear winners: Open Water, Epic Movie, Daredevil, & Stomp the Yard. Those four will clash on December 29.

If you'd like to see the current standings, click any of the following links:

Part 1___________________Part 9

Part 2___________________Part 10

Part 3___________________Part 11

Part 4___________________Part 12

Part 5___________________Part 13

Part 6___________________Part 14

Part 7___________________Part 15

Part 8___________________Part 16

Round 1, Match set 8-16:

Street Fighter: The Movie vs Gone Fishin'
America's Sweethearts vs The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Masters of the Universe vs Mr. Bones
Pirates of the Caribbean 3 vs Ishtar

Let the bloodbath commence! :-D

Comment (0)

TOURNAMENT: The Worst Movies of ALL-TIME (Round 1, Match Set 7-16)

Posted by: Reese Kaine in Worthless, tournament, sucking, stupid, Piece of Shit, movies, Horse Manure, Crap, Bucket o Feces on Nov 09, 2008

For those already familiar with the tournament, just go down a page.

Folks, we have our love of movies, that's how we know what's bad, what sucks, and what's worse than getting caught playing Boon-Ga Boon-Ga (Seriously, if you're playing that game, you need councelling). During the last two weeks of September 2008, the fine folks who'll bang anyone with a nice pair of glasses.......and not just those that look like Daria (I'll try to come up with a better one, honest) here at TGWTG.com sent their submissions for what they each thought was the most terrible craptastic shit-flicks of all time. And as we've learned, one man's treasure is another man's trash, as popular movies were submitted as well. "Can't argue with the people" I thought, as I threw them in the fishbowl (I couldn't find a hat).

Basically, what we're doing is throwing pairs of shit-flicks together, and the people vote on which movie is worse than the other. Kinda like betting on cockfights, only with more blood. Call it karma if you like.

Each week up until the end of April, I'll be putting up four matchups between eight of the movies submitted, and the people get to pick the winner, to eventually be mounted onto a throne sculpted out of various specimens of fecal matter.

It'll be so bad, even flies dare not go near it.
===========================================================

Once again, anyone that submitted their movies that doesn't mind their names being mentioned, please send me another email, telling me just that.

Starting in two weeks, there will be EIGHT shit-flick matchups every week instead of four.

After a week of voting, we have four clear winners.

Meet The Spartans, Battlefield Earth, Very Bad Things, and Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, those four will clash next month on the 29th.

If you'd like to see the current standings, click any of the following links:

Part 1___________________Part 9

Part 2___________________Part 10

Part 3___________________Part 11

Part 4___________________Part 12

Part 5___________________Part 13

Part 6___________________Part 14

Part 7___________________Part 15

Part 8___________________Part 16

Round 1, Match set 7-16:

Open Water vs Bridge to Terabithia

The Land before Time 2 vs Epic Movie

Van Helsing vs Daredevil

Stomp the Yard vs Beastmaster 3

Let the bloodbath commence! :-D

P.S.: I was surprised that Gigli didn't advance to round 2, considering all the major flak it took.

P.P.S: I can't stress this enough: Daria......major hottie.

Comment (1)

TOURNAMENT: The Worst Movies of ALL-TIME (Round 1, Match Set 6-16)

Posted by: Reese Kaine in Worthless, tournament, sucking, Piece of Shit, movies, Horse Manure, Crap, Bucket o Feces on Nov 02, 2008

For those already familiar with the tournament, just go down a page.

Folks, we have our love of movies, that's how we know what's bad, what sucks, and what stinks up the place worse than a Gobblety-Gooker on Thanksgiving Night (Pray that you never see one............again). During the last two weeks of September, the fine folks who vomit and crap all over contact lenses (I'll try to come up with a better one, honest) here at TGWTG.com sent their submissions for what they each thought was the most terrible craptastic shit-flicks of all time. And as we've learned, one man's treasure is another man's trash, as popular movies were submitted as well. "Can't argue with the people" I thought, as I threw them in the fishbowl (I couldn't find a hat on short notice).

Basically, what we're doing is throwing pairs of shit-flicks together, and the people vote on which movie is worse than the other. Kinda like betting on cockfights, only with more blood. Call it karma if you like.

Each week up until the end of April, I'll be putting up four matchups between eight of the movies submitted, and the people get to pick the winner, to eventually be mounted onto a throne sculpted out of various specimens of fecal matter.

It'll be so bad, even flies dare not go near it.
===========================================================

Once again, anyone that submitted their movies that doesn't mind their names being mentioned, please send me another email, telling me just that.

Starting in three weeks, there will be EIGHT shit-flick matchups every week instead of four. Which also means that barring last week's matchups, all ofthe winners will instead clash on the 22nd of next month, instead of all the way in late-January.

After a week of voting, we have four clear winners.

Kazaam, Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park, and Catwoman, those four will clash next month on the 29th.

If you'd like to see the current standings, click any of the following links:

Part 1___________________Part 9

Part 2___________________Part 10

Part 3___________________Part 11

Part 4___________________Part 12

Part 5___________________Part 13

Part 6___________________Part 14

Part 7___________________Part 15

Part 8___________________Part 16

Round 1, Match set 6-16:

Meet The Spartans vs Gigli

Saw 3 vs Battlefield Earth

Very Bad Things vs Hamlet 2

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation vs Inspector Gadget

Let the bloodbath commence! :-D

Comment (5)

TOURNAMENT: The Worst Movies of ALL-TIME (Round 1, Match Set 5-16)

Posted by: Reese Kaine in Worthless, tournament, sucking, Piece of Shit, movies, Crap, Bucket o Feces on Oct 26, 2008

For those already familiar with the tournament, just go down a page.

Folks, we have our love of movies, that's how we know what's bad, what sucks, and what stinks worse than a set of restrooms at Taco Bell after the senior citizen bus stopped by, and everyone had a case of the poops (I'll admit, I know of a worse smell, but I'm afraid to talk about it here. I'll only say that it was the other day, it was job-related, and I'll remember that smell for MONTHS). During the last two weeks of September, the fine folks who may or may not wear glasses (I'll try to come up with a better one, honest) here at TGWTG.com sent their submissions for what they each thought was the most terrible craptastic shit-flicks of all time. And as we've learned, one man's treasure was another man's trash, as popular movies were submitted as well. "Can't argue with the people" I thought, as I threw them in the fishbowl (I couldn't find a hat).

Basically, what we're doing is throwing pairs of shit-flicks together, and the people vote on which movie is worse than the other. Kinda like betting on cockfights, only with less blood, yet more satisfying. Call it karma if you like.

Each week up until the end of April, I'll be putting up four matchups between eight of the movies submitted, and the people get to pick the winner, to eventually be mounted onto a throne sculpted out of various specimens of fecal matter.

It'll be so bad, even flies dare not go near it.
===========================================================

Once again, anyone that submitted their movies that doesn't mind their names being mentioned, please send me another email, telling me just that.

After a week of voting, we have four clear winners.

Garfield, Yu-Gi-Oh!, Deep Blue Sea, and Reptilicus. Those four will clash on January 26.

If you'd like to see the current standings, click any of the following links:

Part 1___________________Part 9

Part 2___________________Part 10

Part 3___________________Part 11

Part 4___________________Part 12

Part 5___________________Part 13

Part 6___________________Part 14

Part 7___________________Part 15

Part 8___________________Part 16

Round 1, Match set 5-16:

Kazaam vs Caddyshack 2

Star Wars 1: The Phantom Menace vs Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen

Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park vs Patch Adams

Jurassic Park 2 vs Catwoman

Comment (8)

TOURNAMENT: The Worst Movies of ALL-TIME (Round 1, Match Set 4-16)

Posted by: Reese Kaine in Worthless, tournament, sucking, Piece of Shit, movies, Crap, Bucket o Feces on Oct 19, 2008

For those already familiar with the tournament, just go down a page.

Folks, we have our love of movies, that's how we know what's bad, what sucks, and what's bad at sucking (Like your folks after stumbling upon their sex tape). During the last two weeks of September, the fine disiples of the Glasses (I'll try to come up with a better one, honest) here at TGWTG.com sent their submissions for what they each thought was the most terrible craptastic shit-flicks of all time. And as we've learned, one man's treasure was another man's trash, as popular movies were submitted as well. "Can't argue with the people" I thought, as I threw them in the fishbowl (I couldn't find a hat).

Basically, what we're doing is throwing pairs of shit-flicks together, and the people vote on which movie is worse than the other. Kinda like betting on cockfights, only with less blood, yet more satisfying. Call it karma if you like.

Each week up until the end of April, I'll be putting up four matchups between eight of the movies submitted, and the people get to pick the winner, to eventually be mounted onto a throne sculpted out of various specimens of fecal matter.

It'll be so bad, even flies dare not go near it.
===========================================================

Once again, anyone that submitted their movies that doesn't mind their names being mentioned, please send me another email, telling me just that.

After a week of voting, we have four clear winners.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Bad Boy Bubby, My Best Friend is a Vampire, and Honey: We Shrunk Ourselves. Those four will clash on January 26.

If you'd like to see the current standings, click any of the following links:

Part 1___________________Part 9

Part 2___________________Part 10

Part 3___________________Part 11

Part 4___________________Part 12

Part 5___________________Part 13

Part 6___________________Part 14

Part 7___________________Part 15

Part 8___________________Part 16

Round 1, Match set 4-16:

The Gladiatress vs Garfield: The Movie

X-Men: The Last Stand vs Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Movie (Pyramid of Light)

Deep Blue Sea vs Click

Jumper vs Reptilicus

Let the bloodbath commence! :-D

Comment (2)

TOURNAMENT: The Worst Movies of ALL-TIME (Round 1, Match Set 3-16)

Posted by: Reese Kaine in Worthless, tournament, sucking, Piece of Shit, movies, Crap, Bucket o Feces on Oct 12, 2008

For those already familiar with the tournament, just go down a page.

Folks, we have our love of movies, that's how we know what's bad, what sucks, and what's bad at sucking (Like your folks after stumbling upon their sex tape). During the last two weeks of September, the fine disiples of the Glasses (I'll try to come up with a better one, honest) here at TGWTG.com sent their submissions for what they each thought was the most terrible craptastic shit-flicks of all time. And as we've learned, one man's treasure was another man's trash, as popular movies were submitted as well. "Can't argue with the people" I thought, as I threw them in the fishbowl (I couldn't find a hat).

Basically, what we're doing is throwing pairs of shit-flicks together, and the people vote on which movie is worse than the other. Kinda like betting on cockfights, only with less blood, yet more satisfying. Call it karma if you like.

Each week up until the end of April, I'll be putting up four matchups between eight of the movies submitted, and the people get to pick the winner, to eventually be mounted onto a throne sculpted out of various specimens of fecal matter.

It'll be so bad, even flies dare not go near it.
===========================================================

It's come to my attention that some folks are having doubts that people actually submitted their bottom-four movies, that it's just my opinions of bad movies. If only it were so, because there's a SHITLOAD of movies I don't like, ones that didn't make the list, hell, there's a few movies that Doug did NC pieces on that didn't make the list.

Folks, I have a confession to make: I don't watch movies.

There, I said it. I HATE movies. They're a waste of my time, they're written and directed by retards, and produced by fucktards. That's why I asked other people to submit their most hated films for this tournament of shit-flicks.

I WOULD submit the names and email addys of everyone who submitted movie titles, as well as what they submitted, but that would violate some kind of confidentiality thingamaboob somewhere......I dunno.

I'm sure there's a law somewhere about that, so I'll make this announcement: Anyone that doesn't mind their names mentioned, please send me another email, telling me just that. If you don't, don't worry about it, I clear my inbox once a month anyways.

After a week of voting, we have four clear winners.

White Chicks, Grand Canyon, Disaster Movie, and The Next Karate Kid. Those four will clash on January 19.

If you'd like to see the current standings, click any of the following links:

Part 1___________________Part 9

Part 2___________________Part 10

Part 3___________________Part 11

Part 4___________________Part 12

Part 5___________________Part 13

Part 6___________________Part 14

Part 7___________________Part 15

Part 8___________________Part 16

Round 1, Match set 3-16:

Puma Man vs Star Wars: The Clone Wars

Bad Boy Bubby vs The Polar Express

Wanted vs My Best Friend Is a Vampire

Honey We Shrunk Ourselves vs Hellraiser 3

Let the bloodbath commence! :-D

Comment (4)

TOURNAMENT: The Worst Movies of ALL-TIME (Round 1, Match Set 2-16)

Posted by: Reese Kaine in Worthless, tournament, sucking, Piece of Shit, movies, Crap, Bucket o Feces on Oct 05, 2008

For those already familiar with the tournament, just hit the PageDown key.

Folks, we have our love of movies, that's how we know what's bad, what sucks, and what's utterly-fucking horrible (And you know how horrible it is to fuck some utters......okay, I do. Shut up.). During the last two weeks of September, the fine Glass-essers (I'll try to come up with a better one, honest) here at TGWTG.com sent their submissions for what they each thought was the most terrible craptastic shit-flicks of all time. And as we've learned, one man's treasure was another man's trash, as popular movies were submitted as well. "Can't argue with the people" I thought, as I threw them in the fishbowl (I couldn't find a hat).

Basically, what we're doing is throwing pairs of shit-flicks together, and the people vote on which movie is worse than the other. Kinda like betting on cockfights, only with less blood, yet more satisfying. Call it karma if you like.

Each week up until the end of April, I'll be putting up four matchups between eight of the movies submitted, and the people get to pick the winner, to eventually be mounted onto a throne sculpted out of various specimens of fecal matter.

It'll be so bad, even flies dare not go near it.

===========================================================

After a week of voting, we have four clear winners.

Jeepers Creepers, College Road Trip, 2 Fast 2 Furious, and Home Alone 3. Those four will clash on January 19.

If you'd like to see the current standings, click any of the following links:

Part 1    Part 9

Part 2    Part 10

Part 3    Part 11

Part 4    Part 12

Part 5    Part 13

Part 6    Part 14

Part 7    Part 15

Part 8    Part 16

Round 1, Match set 2-16:

Matrix 2: Reloaded vs White Chicks

Solaris vs Grand Canyon

Bad Boys 2 vs Disaster Movie

Next Karate Kid, The vs Beloved

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TOURNAMENT: The Worst Movies of ALL-TIME (Round 1-1)

Posted by: Reese Kaine in Worthless, tournament, sucking, Piece of Shit, movies, Epic Fail, entertainment, Crap, Bucket o Feces on Sep 28, 2008

After two weeks of submissions, I have amassed 128 films (The number is still climbing, apparently some people didn't get the memo), and after a weekend of binging, banging and partying, I looked at the clock and was like "Oh fuck! WHERE ARE MY PANTS?!" Oh yeah, there was also that thing about the horrible movies thingy.

The deal is this: Everyone has their idea of what a good movie is, as well as a bad movie. Not everyone agrees, but the purpose of this is to help find some common ground with what sucks and what........doesn't suck that much.

There's also been a change in plans regarding how the matchups are going to be handled: Four matchups are going to be posted every Sunday right here on the blogs. All four polls will close on Sunday nights at 12:00am EST (That's one minute after 11:59pm on Saturday nights..........I can't believe I have to say that), and the next set will open on Monday around the same time. In the spirit of my current job, which is related to racing animals (I'll leave it to you to guess with one), I'll be posting wikipedia/IMDB links alongside the matchups, just in case you might not have watched either movie, but want to vote anyway.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Part 11
Part 12
Part 13
Part 14
Part 15
Part 16

Now you know the players involved, here's who's fighting this week:

Round 1-16:
   Jeepers Creepers vs Kung Pow: Enter the Fist

   College Road Trip vs Wicker Man, The (remake)

   Fast & the Furious 2, The vs Spider-Man 3

   Dracula 3000 vs   Home Alone 3

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Upcoming Tournament: The 2008 worst movie of all time

Posted by: Reese Kaine in Worthless, Piece of Shit, movies, Movie Reviews, Epic Fail, Crap, Bucket o Feces on Sep 22, 2008

What is the worst flick you've sat through and wished you could get that 120 minutes back (Not to mention your money)?

It's a simple question, but you'll always get a different answer, depending on who you ask. So, starting today until Sunday evening (Sept.28), send your personal bottom 4 film titles to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it , and all of your picks will be thrown into a single-elimination tournament where you, the fine folks of TGWTG, will get to pick which is the worst.

Every Monday thru Saturday, a match will be posted in the form of a poll. And every following day, the polls will end and the threads will be updated with the results along with the overall standings.

=================================
Frequently Unasked Questions:
=================================
Q. Why email the bottom four picks?

A. Because for something of this magnitude, using the in-house PM system can wind up chewing up unnecessary bandwidth, and we want TGWTG to continue functioning. Plus the mailboxes fill up rather quickly.

Q. Why have the picks be private at all?

A. Because one person's trash is another's treasure, and some people might feel insulted that their favorites somehow winded up in a worst movie tournament of death, and who needs a flame war, seriously?

Q. Why not just have one poll altogether?

A. Because that would be assuming that I already know what movies you hate, and that's just silly.

Q.(New) Didn't you post this already in the Film forum?!

A. Not an easy answer, but yes. I'm still learning as to where these things can actually be seen.

=================================
So once again, starting today until Sunday evening, send your personal bottom 4 film titles to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it , and let the slaughter commence.

Comment (3)

when the SHIT hits the FAN: Pokemon

Posted by: ZGDK in Pokemon, Piece of Shit, Parody, Noobs, Anime Reviews, Animated Women, Animated Villains, Animated Awesomness on Sep 16, 2008

Jesus fucking Christ Almighty, I have to review Pokemon. Well on a forum I frequent I asked for suggestions on what my next blog should be about and a friend of mine who um... likes anime... a lot suggested I review Kanon. However I have no idea what the hell that is (UPDATE! It's got a girl with wings!) and then he suggested Pokemon, so I took said suggestion. If you're reading this Jirachi82 thanks for the suggestion and I'm not really making fun of you, you're awesome, and I love you in the most non-homosexual way possible.

Anyway, I'm not a huge fan of anime. I'll put it bluntly like that. I like the older 80's/90's anime, Miyazaki (Who DOESN'T like Miyazaki?), One Piece, Dragon Ball Z, etc... What I can't stand is "Moe Anime", you know the giant eyes and all that. Well it's not the giant eyes, because plenty of cartoons have giant eyes, it's just the extremity to which their drawn.

Holy shit, that is frightening, I'm so glad we don't really have eyes like that!

See, I like the older anime, the art style is um... less... gigantic?

So now that we've established that I do like anime, let's dig into the epic known as Pokemon.

Pokemon, I used to play Pokemon an awful lot, but then I came to a stunning revelation as I was preparing to train a Dugtrio. You can never "Catch 'em All!", because with each new game one hundred more of the little critters pop up! Now actually catching the Pokemon is something else entirely. It all seems to be based on luck rather than skill. Sure there are items you can use, but as the game progresses catching Pokemon becomes more about luck than anything else. Example: I want to catch a Zapdos, I have one Ultra Ball, that's it. So I save my game and battle the Zapdos. I just keep trying over and over, doing nothing but throwing the ball and eventually I catch it.

Luck. It seems to play a major role in Pokemon games, the puzzles in the dungeons usually require little more than wandering aimlessly through the dungeon pushing rocks around until you manage to get out.

In one of the more recent games there's Pokemon known as "Regis". These bastards are so elusive. In order to catch them you must wander the world until you find a certain dead on spot to dive into. Then you need to read braille to... wait! What the fuck? Braille! I'm not fucking blind (Apologies to blind people everywhere!), and there's no in game guide! You're screwed! The only solution is checking Game Faqs. Once you decode the message there's a whole slew of crap you have to do it's mind boggling!

The worst thing is the Pokemon given away at promotional events. You have to leave your house and go to a convention of people nerdier than I am (Trust me, that's really nerdy) and wait in a two plus hour line to get your Pokemon. Also there's cosplayers here, and cosplay frightens me. There's nothing wrong with unleashing your inner geek, I do it all the time, but this is taking it way too far. I actually went to one of these conventions, it was hell. Absolute hell.

Now onto the Pokemon anime. The main problem with the anime can be summed up with one picture:

Oh boy.

Meet Ash Ketchum, our hero. Well he isn't much of a hero considering he cries when he looses, but hey it's okay for men to have an emotional side, but this kid cries over the stupidest of things! Oh dear! I lost a Pokemon battle! Suck it up, welcome to the real world.

The problem with the show is that it's simply nothing more than a marketing vehicle for video games and trading cards. In this sense every episode is the exact same thing. These two very strange criminals known as Jesse and James show up in every episode to try and steal Pikachu. There have been 565 episodes and about 95% involve this basic plot.

The similarities don't end there, it gets worse, much worse. You see each episode involves Ash and his paper thin friends meeting characters with personalities about as thin as tracing paper. No wrapping paper, wet wrapping paper. Every single episode, every single movie, the writing for this show is terrible!

The battles themselves are mind numbing and horribly boring. As if the story wasn't horrible enough, the battles hold as much excitement as watching nothing but television static. Also if Ash wants to be a Pokemon master, why is it that he's always loosing when he reaches the Pokemon League? That's because Ash sucks and needs to haul his ass home and go to school! Seriously why aren't these kids in school? Where the hell are Kanto (Jack Kirby used the name Kanto far before Pokemon, Kanto is the name of one of Darkseid's henchmen) and Jhoto and Hoenn?

I'll admit it, I like the basic concept of the Pokemon games: training monsters and engaging in often strategic battles. Personally a game where you just customize Pokemon and battle would be so much fun, I don't have the time to train and do all that IV? training. That and the gameplay (excluding the battles) sucks balls. I'll just end this rant on another picture:

Comment (4)

TheJoker666 first blog

Posted by: Trevor Keene in The Dark Knight, That Guy With The Glasses, Review, Rant, Random, Piece of Shit, Not Angry, Nostalgia Critic, NES Games, Looney Tunes, Jack Thompson, GTA4, Game, Funny, Epic Fail, Doug, Comments, Batman, AVGN on Sep 07, 2008

alohah,

I'm TheJoker666. And I'm here for... who else? ThatGuyWithTheGlasses [AkA: Nostalgia Critic, Chester A. Bum, and Doug(?) ]

How am I here?: Well I was the biggest AVGN fan ever, then I saw a response of his to a "Nostalgia Critic" and so I looked at how this all began, and OBVIOUSLY it was for real (sarcasm) seriously, all the AVGN Nazis need to stfu, although i like James Rofl (yeah, yeah, i don't really know how to spell his last name and don't really feel like looking it up) i thought it was for real (the first 2 minutes) but they all seem to have a good chemestry (in a totally heterosexual way) and I though it was stupid when NC asked AVGN to do a MOVIE REVIEW (because he already does them) and he'll do a Video Game Review, (because he DOESN'T) but then I finally saw AVGN's movie review, and I have to say, I wasn't that impressed, I mean it wasn't his best movie review, the wizard was better. Then I saw NC's GAME review, and I have to say I WAS impressed! It was one of the funniest ones I ever saw, (because once he relize theres a time limit, his face expressions, ROFLWMBHO! (thats rolling on the floor laughing, with my balls hanging out) but seriously, the look on his face is still burned an image in my mind, and i havent watched it in weeks, i am laughing so hard to this day just thinking about it, i probably bored you, now excuse me. ima go get some food

Comment (0)

The Gate (1987) short review.

Posted by: CultconXIX in The Gate, short review, Piece of Shit, Horror, film review, Epic Fail on Aug 29, 2008

Oh boy. I thought I wouldn't have to touch this one again... But I think it's my responsibility to warn potential, innocent victims about the horrors of this shit-on-a-film-roll called The Gate.

I found this film on dvd at my local dvd-store. The cover was luring enough (google if you wish) so I picked it up and checked the back. The 'K-15' (finnish way to rate films; the number indigates what the min. age of the viewer should be) looked promising enough + the back quoted magazines like No.1 MAGAZINE: "If you enjoyed the horror of 'Poltergeist' you'll love this!" and Göteborgstidningen: "The audience has no time to draw breath!". Also the movie claims to be the 2nd most watched movie in USA (at it's time I assume). The plot summary told me two things that made me to buy it (at price of 4,90 euros): there's a Gate to Hell and it opens. For me that equals "Hell Yeah!!!"

So I get home and I pop this "horror" in, hoping to see something good...boy was I fucked. The main character is an 8-year-old kid called Glen (played by Stephen Dorff) who lives in a good neigbourhood. His best friend is another 8-year-old kid called Terry, who listens to Venom and Mid-European ug Black Metal, making him my favourite character and The Cultist awarded The Coolest Kid in The World. Still WTF! How may 8-year-old kids listen to Venom or Mid-European ug Black Metal!? Was this kind of thing common in the end of the 80's? I started digging metal when I was 12 and I got my first Black Metal -album at the age of 16! If you know any kids under 10 who listen to Black Metal, tell them I said "Hail Satan!"

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Top 11 Nostalgia Critic episodes

Posted by: David in top 11, Piece of Shit, Nostalgia Critic, Nintendo, NES Games, Movie Reviews, Game, Funny, AVGN, Anime Reviews, 5 second movies, 4kids, 1 sentence review on Aug 08, 2008

Why top 11?Because I like to go one step beyond.

11.Top 11 scariest Nostalgic moments

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How Can We Make It Better: Batman and Robin

Posted by: Sam in villans, Rant, Randomonous Rant, Random Review, Piece of Shit, Parody, Nostalgia Critic, Movie Reviews, Batman on Aug 06, 2008

This'll be my first in a series that I'll be updating when I feel like it. I'll be using this to list ways we could improve on things in our world, whether they're already great and just need some fine-tuning, or whether they are absolute horribufuckus. Like my first entry: Joel Schumacher's Batman and Robin.

Bruce Wayne/ Batman
First off, let's establish a bit of continuity: inthe last movie, Brucie had slicked-back blond hair and glasses. George Clooney looks nothing like that. Also, they need to make Wayne Manor look like it did in the first two movies. Stop switching it around!

Dick Grayson/ Robin
He has no place here. Go back in time and cut him out of Batman Forever. I honestly think that he was only introduced so Batman could have that choose-between-Chaise-or-Robin scene toward the end. But if you must have him, don't make him twenty-something years old.

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You know what's HORSE SHIT?!?!: Episode 1

Posted by: Daffy in swearing, Rant, Piece of Shit, Life, Funny, Comments on Aug 06, 2008

Horse shit: The excriment of a large, solid-hoofed, herbivorous quadruped.

That's what's horse shit....

I'm just kidding. This is a series not unlike Jame's Rolfe's "You know what's BULL SHIT?!" (In all honesty, I WAS gonna call this the same thing. But, I changed my mind in order to keep away from the piles of hate mail I'd probably get.)

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Things the World doesn't need: Alien Versus Predator

Posted by: Graham Ashton in Video Game Related, Super Hero, sciencefiction, Rant, problems, Piece of Shit, Kombat, Horror, film review, Comic, comedy, childhood, blog, Batman, American Film Institute on Aug 01, 2008

OK, most important thing to get out of the way before I start the ranting. Alien Vs Predator is actually one of two franchises based on the concept of pitting 20^th Century Fox's most famous intergalactic killing machines against each other. The other, is called Aliens Vs Predator. Now it may strike you as odd, but that ‘s' at the end of Aliens that is apparent and missing in each franchise is a huge symbol of commercial greed, fan disappointment and a long running and loved series tarnished.

Let me give you the basic difference between the series. Aliens vs. Predator was a series of comic books, novels and games that was believed to have originated from a prop in Predator 2, an alien skull that hung on the Predator's trophy case. The series began as a comic series simply titled: ‘Aliens Vs Predator'. The story involved a farming colony on the isolated planet of Ryushi, a planet which unfortunately is a traditional hunting ground for the alien race known as the Yaujta, the Predators, to hunt Xenomorphs, or aliens. The comic book series was popular, and from it spawned a novel adaptation, a wide range of action figures, seven sequel comics, and new cross-over comics, some of which pitted the Aliens, Predators or both against popular superheroes like Superman, Batman, Green Lanter

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